June 18, 2020
As the weather got warmer, we used the time to wipe out any ingredients in our pantry so we could make room for new ones. One of the ways we did this was by making sweets, or enhancing items we bought pre-made. I was helping several of my peers unload ingredients from the van in the back of the cottage, and I took them up the stairs to and from the kitchen's rear entrance. After I was done going back and forth, I was wiped. I was also grumbly down south.
I noticed a glass plate of danishes with a glass dome covering them. I was tempted to eat them, but I initially decided against it. However, [#p4t62m], who was nearby, implored me to take one. "It's not like [#a2l68m] would notice any of them went missing anyways. Besides, you're hungry, right?" So I took two.
The following morning, I was called into [#a2l68m]'s office. She asked me about the danishes. I lied through my teeth, having no idea that I was set up for failure by [#p4t62m]. I'll admit - the desire to eat them was there. But so was the desire to refuse or wait. If I had, there's a good chance that I would have been awarded two for the extra help I provided. Instead, I was punished for jumping the gun, a chronic habit of mine even to this day.
As I look back on this, it would feel easy to just blame everyone else for tempting me. It takes two to tango, however. In 2019, one of my roommates from welding school, [#p7t95i], mentioned the following:
Sometimes, we're going to do things not because it's wrong or right, but because someone tells us to. I guess who you surround yourself with matters and plays a bigger role in how I view things than I realized.
I concur with this. It forms the foundation of addressing my vices, one by one. At the end of the day, these vices remain, and by taking greater care to satisfy them at threshold, they don't spring up on me in the most inconvenient ways.
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